He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
