that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
