She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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