Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I should be sponsored by Trojan

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  (210): I should be sponsored by Trojan http://tfl.nu/5ivb
  Replies (15) Good night (4600) Bad night (666)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"

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  (717): I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal" http://tfl.nu/9g1t
  Replies (25) Good night (5997) Bad night (608)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.

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  (410): You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad. http://tfl.nu/7eya
  Replies (15) Good night (1478) Bad night (4456)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?

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  (419): So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out? http://tfl.nu/bixu
  Replies (49) Good night (889) Bad night (12135)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!

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  (740): Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE! http://tfl.nu/i7pp
  Replies (14) Good night (4616) Bad night (1021)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  its not a party unless mikie exposes himself

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  (419): its not a party unless mikie exposes himself http://tfl.nu/ozsv
  Replies (5) Good night (2098) Bad night (758)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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  (803): Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet http://tfl.nu/m2pn
  Replies (3) Good night (1436) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

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  (646): Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/s0ys
  Replies (5) Good night (3409) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Is that even possible?

  (509): View more from Washington

  I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.

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  (509): He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me. (425): Is that even possible? (509): I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/y48j
  Replies (17) Good night (953) Bad night (2783)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒

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  (540): Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒 http://tfl.nu/mpql
  Replies (4) Good night (880) Bad night (491)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.

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  (605): I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with. http://tfl.nu/3qb7
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...

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  (724): Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out... http://tfl.nu/jn6b
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.

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  (985): Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine. http://tfl.nu/rmj5
  Replies (2) Good night (836) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.

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  (802): all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that. http://tfl.nu/3y8k
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?

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  (313): saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man? http://tfl.nu/248d
  Replies (4) Good night (378) Bad night (280)

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