THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."