Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.