so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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