I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.