I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."