Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
its like you know when i get waxed