Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
