I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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