I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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