Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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