i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
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There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
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He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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