put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
only if we run a train.
done.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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