i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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