That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize