Your tits are I can't wait for
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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