No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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