any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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