how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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