he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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