Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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