sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i think i have two assholes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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