I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so let's talk penis.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
