So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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