A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
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its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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