so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
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please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
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I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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