I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
