Nicole vs. Life
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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