God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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