Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize