just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize