69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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