Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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