Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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