its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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