so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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