My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
only if we run a train.
done.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
