The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
