I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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