slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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