dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
