A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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