On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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