Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
