I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
