my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
