I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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