Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?