I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.