I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
