ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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