U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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