Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
