At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
