I must be too annoying 4 u.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
