My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I want her autograph on my taint
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
