these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How's work?
Spinning.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
